Happy valentine’s day … single people
Valentine’s day … I looked it up to find out how this day ever started, but the information did not make much sense to me: A day to celebrate St. Valentine on the 14th February, guess what...a christian feast day, honouring a martyr named Valentine, killed in the name of…! And somehow, in the 15th century that day became romanticized, apparently by association with love birds in early spring. I still don’t understand the link to Mr. Valentine, but somehow this political religious event has turned into a cultural and … super commercial celebration of romance.
Let’s not forget - for many, this day is one they’d rather skip because it is an other strong reminder of not having made it in life, meaning: being single!
I get it! I also thrive in (a good!) relationship and I love to have somebody to romantically love and being loved by. But… my God… what are the costs of time, nerves and energy we sometimes spend, in order to fit into this imprinted picture …yes…, it is just imprinted by society, … of romantic love. And if you have not made it that far: ‘‘what’s wrong with you?’’ I get that a lot!
From early childhood we received endless messages about the princess being rescued and life won’t be fulfilled until ‘he’ finds us. And then we spend our life chasing the fantasy of finding ‘THE ONE’ and kept on losing ourselves in the process!
What if you spend all this amazing amount of life energy on loving yourself - just for a period of time. Filling yourself up with love, decorating your house with beauty, getting your absolute favourite essential oil (for me it’s citrus bliss!) and sniff yourself high, putting music on that is balm for your ears and dance (=make love) to yourself - just for yourself! Can you do that?
Sometimes it’s so easy to touch somebody else (our children, a lover) with full presence, where love is just pouring out of our hands. Can you do that… exactly that… to your face? Stroking your face with feather light fingertips? Try it out:
Self love exercise: Bend your left arm and lift it to the face, so that your left cheek can rest in your left palm. Totally relax the face… almost dribbling out of your mouth, so relaxed is the jaw, the mouth, the lips and the tongue. Now take your right hand and stroke your face with the fingertips. Feels good, no? Do that… or something similar… every day.
An other beautiful self love act is to write a love letter to yourself!
Or… oh this one is amazing: Stand in front of a mirror and say … and fully believe in what you say… how amazing you are! ‘‘I am amazing because…. ‘‘go on and on!
Because: THE GREATEST LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS YOUR VERY OWN HEART!
- With love to myself, Diana Jost, www.herjourney.pt