Breasts - the bells of the heart
… that’s how they are referred as in ancient Taoism. The breasts – the expansion of your heart!
How do you hold yours? How do you wear them when you walk into a room? Are they too big, too small, too saggy… too whatever … ?
Mine were always to small for my taste. And I have to confess that still to this day I am fascinated by big boobs. But since early childhood I was a tomboy and actually did not want any breasts, because I wanted to be a boy (and even changed my name to Daniel). Until I reached puberty. From that moment on, I was happy to be a girl and wanted to show it … and now my breasts should grow as big as my sister’s please! But they did not...!
For the next 20 years or so I was not happy with my small breasts. I wanted them to be bigger, felt not being women enough and totally disliked them… not a good relationship we had! On the top of that, I always had pointy nipples. Bosses at work told me I have to hide them, girlfriends asked me if I want to attract the male gaze and why did I not wear a bra. But a bra did not fit my breasts! Oh I wish they were different!
The same 20 years my sister spent trying to hide her breasts. They were too big and from a too early age on, she got sexualized by men and envied by her girlfriends. She did not wear them with pride, but had to hide them under tight bras and and arched forward back and shoulders.
In my late 30ties I started to appreciate them after a random man in a festival told me that I have the most beautiful breasts he has even seen. I looked behind me to see f he referred to somebody else. But no! ‘You mean ME?’ ‘Yes’ he said, wondering why I am so surprised. ‘Don’t tell me I’m the first person ever saying that! Your breasts are amazing!’ From that moment on, for some reason I started to look at them differently… I actually started to ‘look’ at them, love them, feel them and stopped trying to make them any different than what they are. By accepting them as they are, even small, I allowed them to show their full power and energy.
Then, just turning 40, I gave birth to my son and they became obviously some nourishing material. At that time I already lived in Portugal, a close to Africa and probably more down to earth country, where pregnant mamas, babies and breastfeeders are still more worshipped than further north in Europe. My breasts became food. At that time I did not like that the father of my baby looked at them in a sexual way and I had to slap some hands away – actually it made me furious that breast ever got looked at in a sexual way! Visiting family and friends in Switzerland with my nursing boy made things worse when they told me to cover up my breasts when breastfeeding. What a stupid world we live in – I thought! As soon as I stopped breast feeding, also for me my breasts became something very sensual and pleasurable again... fascinating how things change with breasts.
Nowadays, my big breasted sister and small breasted me meet every sunday morning on a video call and perform breast massage together. It is such a beautiful healing ceremony for us. After all, we both got to a place where we worship our breasts – thanks God!
Anyway… that’s just my breasts story, I do wonder what is yours?
If you feel to dive into this a bit, I have some interesting contemplation questions for you:
- what is the relationship you have today to your breasts? How do you feel about them?
- how have you been treating them up to now?
- what posture are you holding? Are you (unconsciously) trying to hide them?
… I got a bit carried away with my own breast story now… haha… actually today I was just going to sit down to plan my next women’s temple breast massage evening. While writing, I felt myself getting drained into doubting thoughts ‘is this too much?’ Although I’m surrounded by quite an open, hollistic community, when I mentioned my intention to offer a breast massage evening, I so often got the surprised look and the question ‘what for? To inspect them for knots?’ Well… no, although it is good to feel if something is wrong with them, but the breast massage is to connect to these 2 beautiful bells of the heart, to make them feel alive, soft and energised.
It is a big passion of mine to help women connecting to their breasts again and most of all… owning them. They are not our partner’s poperty! If I touch them, I touch them because they feel so good and it feels so good to touch them … not because of any sexual intent. Sometimes I touch them because I need to down regulate my nervous system and they feel home to me.
I wonder, how can it be women often have such a problem touching their own breasts? Where, in God’s name did all this go so wrong?!? And who invented these super tight bras with metal wire that make them look more ‘sexy’ but sufficate them, restrict circulation, constricted and dehydrated them, so they become stiff and rigid and… needless to say….on higher risk of lumps, cysts and cancer…?
Breasts contain glands, fatty tissues, fascia and blood vessels - they hate to be in tight bras! For sure, if they could speak, they would say: ‘please let me breathe, let my blood flow and we actually loooove to bounce… we’re made for that!’ If not getting rid of bras, I highly recommend you to at least get rid of all metal wire underneath them!
Nourish them, massage them, love them, appreciate them, touch them when ever you feel to sooth yourself. Breasts are magical bundles of energy! It’s not about the size, it actually is all about the energy! If you can, join my breast massage temple evening on 14 Mar 2025!
Feel free to write your story about your breasts in the comment. I’d love to hear it.
- With love to my breasts, Diana Jost